Mr. Dr. Jahan Al -Omran
People who break into our privacy in different ways, they interfere in details that do not concern them, ask us about what we love and what we hate, how much we spend and how to save, and even where we go and with whom we spend our time. With the passage of time, this curiosity turns into pressure and urgency that leaves us in a state of emotional attrition, as if our lives have become an open book for others.
Such practices may take advantage of our feelings with guilt or our fear of losing the relationship, making us meet desires that do not express our will. So psychologists are advised to deal with this problem by placing the “psychological boundaries”. It is used in psychological counseling sessions for people who suffer from psychological tension and depression because of their feeling of loss as if they were a paper in the wind due to the violation of their peculiarities, so they feel that they are wrapped in will respond to the demands of others who do not respect their borders.
The psychological limits are defined as “the invisible lines that the individual sets between himself and others, which determines the emotional, intellectual and physical distance he deems appropriate.” These boundaries are not deaf walls or fences of cement, but rather gates that a person chooses when to open, and how, and for whom. Through it we protect our internal resources – time, energy and privacy – from violation or attrition.
Maintaining these limits requires clarity and calmness in expression. The simplest way for this is to learn to say the word “no” sincerely and without a feeling of guilt, as it restores us to control our choices, and prevents others from imposing what we do not want. Another method is no less important, which is self -confirmation using the “Ego” that bears the meaning of the responsibility of your feelings alone; As if to say, for example: “I am annoyed when I am asked to do this after an exhausting working day, I want to rest a little.” Instead of using the ATT message that bears the meaning of blame the other, such as saying, “You carry me beyond my energy, leave me alone.” In this way, we explain our feelings and limits without raising the defense of the other side.
Another basic form of developing psychological limits is to realize the importance of balance between work requirements and our personal needs. The complete indulgence in professional responsibilities may steal our energy, while neglecting our own needs leaves two exhausted and vulnerable to accumulated psychological pressure. So it is important to allocate time to work with a concentration, meets it time for self -care, such as comfort, exercise, or spending fun times with those we love, restores to us balance, and protects our psychological health.
When we are fluent in drawing these limits and aware of their value, we are able to protect our internal space from intervention and tampering. Our lives are like a beautiful garden, which does not flourish and remain safe unless they are surrounded by clear fences, preventing others from storming and tampering with them.
* University professor in psychology
