Monday 13/October/2025 – 05:45 AM
A scientific study revealed that maintaining a friendship with former partners after a breakup may not always be evidence of emotional maturity as some believe, but may sometimes be linked to darker personality traits such as narcissism or a tendency to manipulation.
Staying friends after a breakup may hide selfish motives and psychological disorders
According to what was published by Hindustan Times, the study, which was published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, was conducted by scientists Justin Mogielski and Lisa Welling from the University of Auckland, and included an analysis of the personalities of 861 participants to understand the reasons why some continue to communicate with their former partners. The two researchers used two separate studies; The first asked participants to suggest reasons for continuing the friendship, and the second assessed how important these reasons were to them.
The results identified seven main motives behind the continuation of friendly relationships after separation, including reliability and emotional support, and pragmatism such as material benefit, continued or declining emotional attraction, maintaining social relationships, and sexual access. The results indicated that these reasons range from legitimate emotional motives to selfish ones seeking practical advantages.
Three personality traits
Participants also took assessments measuring the triad of personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy and found that individuals who scored higher on these traits were more likely to maintain friendships with their ex-partners for pragmatic or manipulative reasons, such as maintaining access to money, relationships, or information.
According to the study, men showed a greater tendency than women to justify continuing friendships with former partners for practical or sexual motives, and the results indicate that some people may seek through these friendships to keep options open, rather than decisively ending the relationship.
The researchers conclude that the decision to remain friends after a breakup is not always innocent or stems from residual feelings, but rather may reflect deeper patterns of strategic thinking or selfishness. However, the results do not mean that all friendships after a breakup have ulterior motives, but they are a reminder that human relationships, even after they end, are more complex than they appear.
