Mr. Hadila Hammad
The mother entered with her five -year -old son to a female family council, and as soon as she entered, she asked him to be delivered to the attendees, but she noticed from the features of his face that he did not want to shake hands with them, so he said to her: “I do not want to shake hands with them, and their number is great.”
The mother’s desire to shake hands with her present son, stems from a positive motivation, as she wanted to develop the respect of others. But some children may feel uncomfortable in such situations, so they resort to finding justifications to protect themselves and refrain from shaking hands as did the son.
Some children feel hesitant when they are asked to shake hands with parents or guests. Some of them may respond, while others refuse to do so, and this rejection does not necessarily mean a lack of respect or reduction in others, but rather reflects internal feelings that prevent them from shaking hands.
The child’s refusal to shake hands with adults may be a reflection of internal feelings such as anxiety, fear, stress, or shame. It is better for parents to deal with these feelings with respect and understanding, rather than focusing on the same position or feeling embarrassed in front of others.
It is also important for the other party to understand this rejection, and to realize that the child’s failure to shake hands does not mean a lack of respect or diminishing from his destiny, but rather an expression of a personal desire that must be respected.
Therefore, it is necessary to give our children enough space to choose the method that suits them in expressing their respect for others, while instilling this concept through support and encouragement, not the imposition. We can also teach them simple and polite ways to show respect for adults, such as salutations with words or smile, and use nice phrases such as: “Peace be upon you, how are you?”
Respecting the feelings of children is essential in strengthening their confidence in their sense, and developing their awareness of their rights, including their right to reject any physical touch that they do not feel comfortable.
