Mr. Dr. Jahan Al -Omran
Family life governs a complex network of emotional ties, which constitute the fabric of relationships and determines the path of mental health for its members. However, these ties may be subjected to a painful paradox known as “emotional cut off”, which is a phenomenon that is somewhat similar to the process of physical amputation, but here it means deep emotional withdrawal, suppressing feelings, and silence applied when facing a difficult problem that ravages the family entity. It is a desperate attempt, although it is not aware, to manage tension and anxiety, thinking of the individual or family that avoiding facing the problem will extinguish the flames of the conflict, or that the suppression of feelings will protect from pain.
This pattern of dealing with tensions, where problems are buried under the rubble of silence and feelings are kept in the depths of the soul, carrying a heavy price for mental health. The pent -up feelings do not evaporate, but rather turn into negative energy looking for outlets for expression, and they are like a lamb under the ash, fueling chronic anxiety and internal distress.
According to the Murray Bowen model, one of the most prominent family counseling pioneers, the emotional bitter is an immature defensive mechanism to deal with family problems where it is believed that separation from the source of tension will reduce anxiety, but in fact it hinders the growth of “self -distinction”, which is the individual’s ability to preserve his identity and independence, and his ability to solve his problems.
We see the manifestations of this emotional bitter when the family faces a shocking event as the loss of one of its members, or a chronic disease, or if the head of the family is exposed to a heavy material loss, or the wife discovered the betrayal of her partner, these people may behave in a strange way which is to escape the solution of the problem by not talking about it, or thinking about finding solutions to it, or even expressing the feelings of the soul from feelings of anger, sadness or pain due Escape that the husband finds, for example, in his absence from the house, a haven from an atmosphere charged with tensions that are not expressed in the house, or that the wife mediates her by repression, so she occupies herself with the burdens of the house, or drifting behind the consumer lifestyle, as a silent cry that expresses pent -up feelings of anger or frustration that he did not find a safe outlet inside the walls of silence.
It may lead to the incarnation of this suppression in chronic physical symptoms, such as migraines or sleep and food disturbances, as the body becomes a tongue that speaks of what the tongue is unable to say. These behaviors are only indications that the family system suffers from tremendous internal pressure, affecting the ability of the family to solve their problems effectively and create a supportive climate for its members.
Emotional separation weakens family ties and hinders the growth of healthy and deep relationships. The family that does not talk about its problems, and does not allow its members to express their pain and concerns, creates a fertile environment for increased anxiety and psychological deterioration.
The treatment for the problem of the emotional amputation in the family lies in changing this style and breaking the silent walls, encouraging open communication and sincere expression, and providing a safe space to express feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. This path requires courage and awareness, and a specialized family counselor may enter to help the family decipher its complex dynamics, and learn effective communication skills. It is an invitation to the family to learn how to consciously and wise its conflicts, so that it can build bridges of understanding, in order to become a safe haven for emotional and psychological growth, which paves the way for its members to enjoy sound psychological health.
* University professor in psychology
