Amal Muhammad Amin
God Almighty has prescribed marriage to be housing, affection, and mercy between a man and a woman, but sometimes ten may be impossible between the two spouses, and divorce becomes the only solution to avoid more psychological or physical harm. In such cases, separation must be made with affection and respect, especially if they have children, because these children are the weakest link in this relationship, and they are greatly influenced by the way parents dealing after separation..It of divorce in Islam does not mean estrangement or hostility, but rather it must be done in a civilized manner that preserves the dignity of both parties, and protects the psyche of children from collapse. God Almighty said: “So, you are a well -known or a tradition,” “Al -Baqarah: 229”, and this confirms that respect and affection must remain present even when separating. This divine guidance establishes the principle that divorce should not turn into conflict or revenge, and it is unfortunate that the father is deprived of seeing his children, and that the mother uses children as a weapon to harm her ex -wife, or as a means of pressure on him. The father has a pivotal role in raising and upbringing children, and psychological studies have shown that children who arose without a father in their lives may suffer from problems of self -confidence, disturbances in behavior, and weak academic and social performance.
Islam stressed the importance of the father’s role in raising children, and the necessity of staying close to them even after the divorce. The Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: “You are all a shepherd and all of you are responsible for his flock” (Agreed upon). This hadith includes the father in his educational responsibility, so this responsibility does not fall from him once divorced. Likewise, depriving the father of his children is unjust, and God Almighty says: “And they do not criminalize you with a people who do not adjust. Justice is closer to piety. It is important to plant in the children a positive image of both parents, even in the event of divorce, because distorting the image of the father and depriving him of interacting with them and practicing his natural role as a parent. This deprivation is not only an injustice for a man, but rather a great harm that falls on the children themselves, and affects their psychological, emotional and social balance. The father is not just a source of alimony. Rather, it is one of the main pillars in building a personality. The father is responsible for raising his children even if the marital relationship ends. Also, Islamic law was not permitted for the mother, nor for others, to prevent the child from seeing his father, unless there is a real danger that threatens the child’s life or safety.
The risks of depriving children of their father after the divorce are many and dangerous, including:- Psychological and emotional disorders: The child feels ostracized or deficient when he is deprived of one of his parents, and he wonders about the reason for absence, which may generate feelings of anger or deep sadness. Emotional- aggressive or introverted behaviors: Some children turn into aggressive behavior as a reaction to the absence of the father, while others involve and depression, which makes it difficult to integrate into society later. Loss of male example: especially for male children, where the child loses the model male image from which he learns how to deal with life, and he may search for them in unsafe or irregular environments.
On the other hand, depriving the father of seeing his children also affects him. Many parents suffer from depression, a sense of impotence or loss, when they are prevented from exercising their patriarchal role. Also, the tense relationship between him and his children; Because of the interruption, it may continue even after the children grow up, which generates a gap that is difficult to bride.
Divorce should not be a psychological war, but rather a transition from one stage to another with wisdom and mercy. The child has no sin in the disputes of adults, and it is his right to arise in an environment that respects his need for the father and the mother together, even if they do not meet under one roof. The father, with his vision, his advice, and his presence, sows safety in the soul of his son, and contributes to building a balanced generation.
