Princess of Sulaibikh
Reading is my hobby and my wish, and therefore all the letters that I see I consider is a friend, between us and ten, and I need to give her peace, and I devote her time to listen to her and listen to what she says and what she carries in her meanings, information and stories.
From a young age, I used to read everything that falls on my eyes at all times, whether it is a paper clip, an old newspaper, asymaphods, magazines that have doors, food recipes, false information on canned. All of them are an opportunity to make time and enrich knowledge.
But I stand today while I am forty, I feel that I have turned into a large warehouse of information. Information more than I need, and more than I want. They are all strained inside me and occupy my head, and nothing of them goes out to the light, and there is no way to get rid of it! As if you are reading all the recipes of cooking, yet you die hungry! You feel as if you are crowded in the crowd of ideas from which you have nothing, do not touch them, do not change the world, not even your mood! Knowledge, if you do not practice or apply, turns into a heavy pregnancy, a burden that exhausts the soul.
I know why Anna Karenina was run over by the provisions of society before the train ran over her, and I was aware of why Kafka did not defend himself in court, and I understand the madness of Virginia Wolf before it drowned, and I realize the depth of the lost time as Marcel Bruce did, and I appreciate the bitterness of Siorran and his discontent with others, and I absorb Nietzsche’s reluctance to the world, and I feel what I wrote to the love of love Salvation from the madness of this world!
I know about loss, the philosophy of existence, the stages of spiritual enlightenment and methods of self -realization. I know, know and know .. but what next? Nothing around me changed! I did not say (no) in time, I did not defeat my fears, I did not shout in the face of injustice, I have not changed my hairstyle for a year. I did not like myself as it should. I stand between what I know and what I do, as if I was a living conscience with a suspended implementation!
In Marquez’s farewell message to his fans, he said, “No one will remember you for the ideas that are harmonious, so ask the Lord power and wisdom to express it.” As for Bokovsky, he said, “Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish if you do not understand it.” Writers realize that knowledge may be a curse sometimes when it is not good to deal with it.
I do not need a new information after today. I need a vacuum. For a corner free of noise, I write one honest sentence that is higher than the banner of humanity. I need to live even for one day without this consciousness.
