Illustration: David Parkins
The advice
Nature’s careers team spoke about your situation to a professional mediator, a researcher who studies bullying in academic settings and an academic coach. They agreed that you describe a complex situation that has evolved from early career difficulties into current workplace tensions.
The three proposed different routes out of your impasse. However, they also suggested that you reflect on how your past experiences influence how you act and react in the present.
Fanny Zabloz, a mediator based in Valais, Switzerland, suggests asking your institution’s human-resources team for mediation, if you and your former supervisor are willing to take part. “Mediation could be particularly helpful here, as it provides a structured, neutral space to rebuild a more constructive working relationship, which is often essential, especially when both parties need to continue working together,” she says.
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The mediation process can be either direct, with both parties in the same room, or ‘shuttle’, in which the parties remain separate, she says. In both cases, the mediator will probably meet each party individually first, to clarify the process, define confidentiality terms and allow the two sides to express their perspectives.
Zabloz emphasizes that mediation is future-focused rather than fault-finding. If a formal complaint of bullying has been made to your human-resources representative, you will probably instead enter a more investigative process, through which you can present your side. Zabloz notes that any disciplinary action typically requires substantial proof of misconduct, with multiple corroborating witnesses.
Another approach, which can be complementary to mediation, is to reflect more broadly about how you navigate relationships at work. The aim here is to develop new strategies for managing frustrations and conflicts. This could be done by reaching out to a trusted mentor, a counsellor or a coach.
Simon Kay is an immunologist who worked in international development and for the biomedical funding charity Wellcome before becoming a full-time coach in Haywards Heath, UK, specializing in helping early-career academics.
Kay says he detects “a lot of anger and frustration” in your letter — and that such feelings, however understandable, can get in the way of a solution.
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If he were your coach, he says, although you would need to offload your frustration with the environment and people around you, he would want to work on your behaviours and how you can positively influence your situation, your relationships and your career direction. “Assuming [the correspondent] is open to coaching, our starting point would be to explore how they handle relationships, to explore patterns of behaviour and try to bring them to a level of awareness about their impact on and relationships with others,” he says.
